The Secret Of Angalaria
by walkinshade
Summary: Voyager's Captain, B'Elanna and Naomi are taken hostage while Voyagers rescues the crew of an Angalarian ship. An encounter with consequences for the relationship of Voyager's command team, Last two chapters: Story complete!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: Paramount owns all rights. This story is mine.

Summary:

Travelling through a quiet region of space Voyager's crew rescues the extraordinary crew of an Angalarian ship, before hostile forces destroy it. Forces which have only one goal, finding the key to the Angalarian world and to the mysterious secret that this species is keeping. A run against the time starts, when B'Elanna, Naomi, two Angalarian and the captain get kidnapped by the Samarian. An encounter with consequences, not only for hostages, but for the relationship of Voyager's command- team as well.

Rating:M

**The Secret Of Angalaria **

By Gine

**First Chapter: Angels In Need**

For seven years they had been flying through the galaxy at warp speed. Thousands of worlds had been left behind in a silver stream of light in the dark vastness of space.

Unfamiliar stars marked their path as they chartered the unknown Quadrant.

Enemies and friends had been encountered on the journey that sometimes seemed so endless, and still they never lost faith that one day they would see their own stars again.

Being in space for so long, seeing the world around them change, just as quickly as the light races through time, Chakotay sometimes wondered, if there would ever come a day when they would no longer stand in awe or shock at the unforeseen encounters they came across on their way home. Watching the display of deep emotions in the eyes of Kathryn Janeway when the Angalarians contacted them for the very first time, Chakotay knew they never would.

For weeks they had barely seen any planetary systems. Voyager had passed through other regions just as devoid of life as this, dark regions without stars, where cold hands seemed to reach into the hull of the ship to leave behind restlessness and depression in the souls of the crew. But this region of space was quiet and peaceful. The dark shimmered like a polished mirror of a clear, blue lake in a midsummer-night, and the ship seem to glide through it like a sail boat through the first mists of a morning. Instead of cold they felt an inviting touch of warmth and calm. The silence was comfortable and after months of stress, the crew relaxed like never before.

Even on duty the atmosphere on the bridge was marked by an intimate routine, that kind that only people who know each other a long time and who trust each other can share. On days like this one, nobody could deny that Voyager had become more than a star-ship. It was home and the people living there were family and friends.

The command team of Voyager was deeply immersed in a quiet study of the latest reports, when without any warning a sudden shift rocked the entire ship. Voyager dropped out of warp to a dead stop and all the lights went out. People scrambled back to their stations as the emergency power kicked in.

"Report!" Just one powerful word from the captain and in seconds the relaxed peace of the bridge was replaced by a concentrated search for the reason for their unexpected stop.

"I don't have any explanation for what just happened, Captain." Tom turned around in his chair at the Con, confusion written all over his face. "We lost warp and impulse, but everything says that all engines are fully operational."

Before they even had a chance to contact engineering, the main-screen came online again, and in the darkness before them, a small glowing light appeared. In seconds it grew to an enormous spherical portal and bathed in an aura of transcendent light, an elliptical ship emerged. The opening in space collapsed and at the same moment all stations on board Voyager were operational again. Reports came in from all decks, but apart from a few bumps and bruises no harm was done.

"I think we just collided with an artificial ring-shaped fold of dark matter in space." Harry explained, still studying the data at his station. "That ship seemed to come right from the inside of the phenomenon."

"Through a ring-shaped fold? How is that possible?" Chakotay could see the wheels in Kathryn's scientific mind turning. "I thought we couldn't become aware of such an anomaly without recalibrating our sensors completely. And even then we'd have to know where to search for it. I can't believe we collided with one. And you say it's artificial, Harry? Who could be so technologically advanced to be able to create a fold of dark matter in space? I'm anxious to know if this ship could have the answers to those questions. Hail them, Harry!" The captain's eyes were focused on the view screen.

"This is Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager. We just witnessed your entrance into normal space. Do you need any help?"

No one answered. The alien ship, which hadn't moved for several minutes, now seemed to drift slowly away.

"Can they hear us, Harry?"

He looked clearly puzzled. "I can't answer that question? In fact, I can't even say if there is anyone to be asked. I read no life-signs, no engines, no weapons."

"We can see the ship, Captain, but the sensors show nothing. The scans are just a reflection of our own feedback." Harry frowned suddenly. "Something is happening, Captain. There seems to be an enormous power leak on their starboard side. I'm reading a massive energy output."

All eyes on the bridge crew were glued to the screen when the other ship started to sway. There was an abrupt series of lightening sparks and the shields lost their sparkling colour. Now they could clearly see the texture of the ship's white hull.

"I'm reading 78 life signs, Captain. No weapons. Shall I hail them again?"

"Yes, let's try …" The captain hadn't even finished her sentence when they all witnessed the most fascinating and beautiful transformation of light on the screen that any of them had ever seen.

A humanoid looking female appeared very slowly. Her skin was creamy ivory. Long silver hair framed her elegant features and she was looking at them with crystal clear blue eyes. Light seemed to radiate from her whole form. For a few seconds there was absolute silence. Even Tom was in awe, as if any comment he would have made had just stuck in his throat.

The alien woman studied Voyager's bridge crew with earnest eyes, her face seemingly unreadable. Her eyes wandered from Harry to Tom to Voyager's Security Officer and the blue of her eyes seemed to darken when she looked at Tuvok.

When she finally fixed her penetrating gaze on the pair in the middle of the bridge, the aura around her body seemed to sparkle. Her eyes radiated pure serenity and a brilliant smile graced her features.

"We apologize, Captain. Our appearance here disturbed your journey. My name is Namara. I was chosen to make contact with you. Our home world is Angalaria, a sun system with 11 planets. You entered our territory a few weeks ago." The woman sensed the silent question in the eye contact between Kathryn and Chakotay.

"Of course you didn't notice, Captain. Our world is hidden. A malfunction in the perimeter of our polara created the phenomenon that you call a fold in space. In the process our ship was catapulted into this sector. The polara is the only passage to reach Angalaria. It protects Angalaria from hostile infringements. As you already know, our ship has no weapons, because we have no need for violence. Our people have established peace for thousands of years. For centuries we have avoided contact with this side of space. Still there are rumours about our alleged high technological and cultural advancement and many have come to seek the secret of Angalaria. Some would sell lives for the knowledge of where our polara is located. They would never understand that the richness of our life is not of a material kind." The woman paused for a second; she was obviously deep in thought.

"What happened here today should never have happened, Captain? You now know where to find the key to open the door to our world. And our ship is irreparable damaged." Again her eyes studied the Command team of Voyager.

"Still I have hope that the spirits were with us today, for I can sense the great spectrum of positive emotions among your people, compassion, friendship, wisdom and love. I want to plead with you in the name of the 76 children on board this vessel, to help us return to Angalaria. This ship can never fall into wrong hands."

The graceful smile on Kathryn Janeway's face was answer enough for Namara.

"Of course we will help, Namara." There was still wonder written all over Kathryn's face. "You said you have 76 children on board and only 2 adults. Doesn't your ship need a crew to maintain and monitor the ship's functions?"

"No, Captain. This is purely a science vessel, built to educate our children about the nature of life. All our ships have a stationary navigational control in our own sun-system. Outside the guidance of the station, the ships are unable to move at all. Once we were thrown through the polara, there were only two options for us. Contacting our people for an emergency beam out which we couldn't as our communicational phalanx blew up. Due to the extreme pressure the ship had to compensate while passing through the polara."

Namara's last words were only whispered and the light around her body seemed to fade with it. "Or to self destruct the ship."

"But your people surely wouldn't abandon 76 children to die, would they?"

The captain's voice could barely contain the shock about Namara's revelation.

"No Angalarian would ever willingly abandon his child, Captain. Like I told you before, we avoided any contact with the outside world, in fact we never considered building bigger space ships to travel there. Our world must be protected. Once we passed the outer radius of the polara, we lost any chance to get back. We are adrift, Captain and there is no ship on the other side that could tractor us inside again." Namara's light was almost extinguished now.

"I can feel now that your ship has come a far way, Captain, so you have never heard the legend of Angalaria. I am looking forward to sharing it with you. Our children are bonded with their world and they would die a slow and painful death outside of it. For the next 11 days they are protected from the shadows. Once this time has run down, I would rather send my child into the spirit world than let it be exposed to the darkness."

"You can count on our help, Namara. I suggest we meet as soon as possible to assess your situation and decide the next steps."

In consideration of the already unsettled children, the Angalarian asked for a briefing on her own ship. The relief about the captain's immediate consent was not missed because the aura of light around Namara's form radiated again to full vibrancy.

An hour later the captain had assembled a team of engineers, including B'Elanna, Harry and Seven, leaving Voyager in the capable hands of her First Officer.

On her way to the beam out, Kathryn talked with Chakotay about this extraordinary first contact. Many things Namara had spoken of sounded unbelievable and mysterious, but from the moment she had appeared on the view screen, they had an absolute feeling of trust and goodness towards this stranger. They had no explanation why. It was just pure instinct.

Chakotay was not surprised when Kathryn stopped the turbo-lift for a short break. The familiar gesture of her hand on his arm and the affectionate expression in her eyes asked for the private closeness they naturally reserved for their off-duty times. He reached for her hand and his eyes reflected the broad band of emotions he held only for her.

"I can't explain it, Chakotay, but I haven't felt this calm and relaxed for a very long time and it happened the moment Namara first laid her eyes on us. It was like she could touch us with her mind and take away all our burdens. Suddenly there was just you and I, and all physical barriers vaporized in the warmth of the light that seemed to flow between us. I felt absolutely at…"

"Peace." They spoke the word in unison, a knowing smile on their faces.

When the away team materialized on the Angalarian ship, they were completely stunned by the breathtaking environment they found themselves in.

Prepared to see the usual design of a ship, like bulkheads, view ports, different decks and small cabins, they faced one big hall that was a green and blooming garden under a dome of light. The air was warm and pregnant with the sweet smell of flowers. They heard a melodious humming and the unique sound of children's laughter in the distance, but there no one was to be seen.

They turned around slowly, nobody daring to speak, as they all stared in wonder at the beauty around them.

Large trees with leaves painted in all imaginable colours surrounded the small clearing. A green path wove through the woods to a field of flowers, alongside which a small river sparkled in the light like fluid silver. If they hadn't known better, they would have sworn they had beamed down onto a planet. This was a living oasis in the darkness of space, and it felt completely different from any holo-projection. It felt real.

"What you see is real." Namara's voice broke the spell of awe when she emerged from the trees.

Slowly a few children followed her, guided by the other, obviously male adult, Namara had spoken of. One half of the children had the fair hair and water blue eyes that resembled Namara's, while the others studied the strangers with velvet brown eyes. Just like the complexion of their male leader, their skin was tanned instead of ivory cream and the beautiful long hair that framed their faces was black. They each represented their perfect counterparts.

The alien man joined Namara. When their hands met, it was more than just a touch. The deep connection between them was palpable even to an outsider. For a second both closed their eyes and the light around them melted into one spectral aura. Two halves of a soul became one.

"Welcome aboard Talaris. We have awaited your arrival." The man spoke with a sonorous voice. "I am Araman, mate of Namara. We are deeply thankful for your willingness to help us, Captain."

Araman had watched the emotional reaction of Voyager's away team and he could easily sense the curiosity and the unspoken questions.

"Like Namara told you, our ships are mainly built for one purpose, to study life. Life of every kind and form. Our people share a deep connection with nature, like the one you see here, and with the spirit. That is the essence of life and only to be seen for those who know. Talaris is more than a ship to us. It is part of Angalaria and our home, wherever we are. But I can feel that you and your crew know what I am talking about, Captain." Araman looked deeply into Kathryn Janeway's eyes and smiled.

"This ship allows us to live in an environment that resembles our home world, in fact it is part of it. So we, but most of all our children, are always in touch with the light that is the bond between all of our kind. We belong together like day and night. The light in our children is that of the innocent and they must be protected from any harm. As long as they are not bonded to their mate, the light can be stolen from them. Only the bond between the chosen can withstand the power of darkness. Our unfortunate separation from Angalaria has damaged Talaris severely. The power to keep it alive is draining quickly because we now need most of it to sustain the structural integrity of the ship's hull. We have mini-fractures all over the ship and an irreparable breach at the starboard side. I will show you around before we discuss how to proceed."

Namara gestured to the waiting children who had silently found themselves places to sit down under the trees.

"The children are exited to meet you. Most Angalarians have never met someone from the outside world, but we never lose contact with the other side. We are always aware of developments in this part of the Galaxy. In many ways we are bonded to it like we are to our own world. The time will come when Angalaria will reveal its secrets but this day is still far away."

Namara looked back at their guests. "But we can feel you will not bring any harm to our children. Please feel free to talk to them."

A small girl with fairy hair approached B'Elanna. Her eyes were glued to the soft swelling of B'Elanna's stomach. At first the girl carefully smoothed her hand over it before she finally rested her head on the Engineer's belly. A bright glow of light surrounded her face.

"You found your other half. You are chosen." B'Elanna was clearly overwhelmed by this emotional experience, but she smiled at the child and stroked her hand softly over the silver hair. The ray of light seemed to intensify with the touch.

At the same time a boy with raven black hair and walnut brown eyes had secretly wormed his hand in one of the captain's, who was still taken by the emotional interaction between the girl and B'Elanna. Suddenly all her senses were drawn to the child at her hand. He was still so small, but his eyes, so much like Chakotay's, radiated conscious wisdom and honesty.

"You are chosen as well."

Namara and Araman sensed Kathryn's shock and distress immediately, but the child was unimpressed by the stream of emotions that radiated from the Captain.

"Like I told you, Captain. Children are innocent and just see the truth of things. Look at the wonder in the eyes of a child when they admire the beauty of a simple stone or a single wild flower. They embrace everything with their heart. They don't ask for the consequences or the costs. The love of a child knows neither rules nor parameters."

Kathryn's eyes showed a hint of sadness when she nodded in approval at Araman's words. She knelt down beside the little boy and smiled at him.

"You are a wise little boy. Would you like to show me your wonderful ship?" The child beamed with pride before his eyes silently sought the permission of his teacher.

"You will be the official guide of the captain, Brana." Araman made a gesture to the little girl who still leaned against B'Elanna. "And Nalea shall accompany you."

For the next two hours they inspected Talaris to get a picture of the ship's condition. The damage to the hull was clearly the biggest problem, but many of the micro fractures had started to widen to dangerous proportions. If they wanted to tractor the ship, they would have to find a way to do it soon, although the ship already seemed too seriously compromised that it seemed almost futile to even consider towing it at all.

They discussed several options but finally decided to evacuate the ship before attempting to tractor it. Nobody could say if the structural integrity could withstand the stress of the tractor and to increase the chances of holding Talaris together, B'Elanna suggested sealing the bigger rifts from the outside. They would modify the phaser banks of one of Voyager's shuttles so it would operate like a laser to weld the fractures.

To save time, Voyager would start to evacuate the children under Commander Chakotay's command parallel to the repairs on Talaris.

Two shuttle teams were set up. Tom and Harry flew a shuttle to Talaris's starboard side, while B'Elanna and the captain took another to seal the more severe breaches on the port side.

The welding proceeded slowly, but with the right care, they would secure the Angalarian ship enough in order to tractor it into the radius of the polara again.

The evacuation was almost finished, when right in front of Talaris an unknown vessel de-cloaked. Before anyone had the chance to communicate, the strangers opened fire. The already damaged ship had no shields to hold off the attack and several torpedoes hit directly, the explosions ripping open the white hull. Only the emergency force fields in place prevented the ship falling apart.

Voyager was moving to shield Talaris from further fire, but the last chance to repair the ship was destroyed. All they could do now was beam the last Angalarians out before the ship exploded. Both shuttles scanned for the last of the children.

The sudden attack had come so quickly and violently that the children, in terrified panic, had run for safety in all directions. Namara and Araman searched desperately for the last five children. The dome of light had collapsed and in the dimmed light of the emergency power, the paradise was dying. The trees stood leafless and the field was burned brown. Finally they found two girls, cowering under a bush. Talaris had started to vibrate violently and they knew they wouldn't have time to look for the other missing children. When Harry beamed them out, they could only hope that the other shuttle had found them in time.

B'Elanna had recalibrated the sensors to penetrate the massive distortions that were the result of the direct hit to the power core.

"Captain, I am detecting three life signs. Two Angalarian and a human. It's Naomi." B'Elanna looked questioningly to the captain.

"She beamed down to meet Nalea and Brana after we left. Can you get a lock on them to beam them out?"

"We're too far away, Captain." B'Elanna's voice changed to a frantic tone. "I'm reading a massive power built up, Captain. We're running out of time."

"Hold on, B'Elanna. Initiate transport as soon as you have a lock." Kathryn's fingers flew over the helm. The shuttle made a roll and raced along Talaris's hull. Blue light filled the cabin and five seconds later the Angalarian ship exploded into a large ball of fire. The last thing B'Elanna heard before the shockwave hit the shuttle was the shout of her captain.

"Brace for impact."

Voyager lay dead in space but the strange vessel was slowly retreating.

"Report!" Chakotay had been thrown against the helm, but was already returning to his seat.

"Due to the massive shockwave, we have lost warp and impulse drive. We still have weapons. Shields are down to 47 percent. The unknown vessel has lost weapons, but they are still impulse capable. They seem to be retreating. Lieutenant Paris's shuttle just docked. We now have 76 Angalarian aboard Voyager." Tuvok quickly scanned from his tactical station again.

"The captain's shuttle is severely damaged. They have lost propulsion and are adrift. Structural integrity is holding so there is no imminent danger. I am reading 5 life signs, two are Angalarian. I assume the shuttle was in close enough range to beam out Naomi and the last missing children."

Chakotay was just about to order Tom to take the Flyer and tractor the lost shuttle back to Voyager when the hostile ship changed direction.

"They're going after the captain. Ayala, try to beam them out. Tuvok, target their engines and fire at will. We have to stop them." Chakotay shouted angrily and then shock and fear registered on his face. It was too late. Helplessly they all watched as the shuttle was pulled into the strange ship.

"We are out of range. I'm sorry, Commander." Ayala's eyes mirrored the horror in Chakotay's.


	2. Chapter 2: In the darkness

**The Secret Of Angalaria**

by Gine

Chapter 2: In The Darkness

The shuttle finally hit solid ground, and at the same time all operational systems deactivated. It was completely dark. The Angalarian children huddled on the floor and both held one of Naomi's hand. The Kytarian girl whispered softly to them, but her breathless voice betrayed her own fears.

The captain knelt down beside them; she could sense the shock and fear the children were experiencing. "I want you to stay close together. B'Elanna and I will make sure that nothing happens to you."

Nalea and Brana stared at her. Their light, which usually glowed in a warm golden tone, was now silver blue. The innocent expression in their eyes was slowly changing. Kathryn wanted to cry, and for a moment she didn't know how to breathe, how to talk, how to reassure these pure little beings that they would find a way out of this situation. She prayed that Voyager would find them soon. Her hands softly stroked over the black and silver hair as her eyes rested on Naomi.

"I know you're afraid, but we will do whatever it takes to stop anyone harming you. I hope it won't happen, but if we should be separated, Naomi will be responsible for you. Naomi has been my assistant for many years and has been trained for a situation like this. I want you to do whatever she says."

Naomi put her arms around the children and the serious expression in her eyes tugged at Kathryn's heart. "You can rely on me, Captain. I will take care of Brana and Nalea."

"I know, Naomi. Don't give up hope. I'm sure Voyager is already on the way." Kathryn smiled one last time at the children then went back to B'Elanna who was still recovering from the heavy impact with the helm console. Thank God she had taken most of the blow on her left side.

"The medical tricorder is still functioning. You suffered severe contusions to your ribcage and left shoulder. There will be considerable bruising. The baby is fine." Kathryn stopped B'Elanna's attempt to stand up.

"No, don't move. I want you to sit down and rest while you have the chance to. I'm sure we'll soon have company. Stay calm. We can't take any reckless chances with the children here. That's an order, B'Elanna. Do you understand me?"

B'Elanna just nodded. She had not missed the serious and concerned expression in her captain's eyes.

It was still silent. The minutes ran by, but no one came. However they all felt the invisible threat. The air was cold and heavy as if the gravity had shifted.

The captain assessed the shuttle's status, as much as was possible with a wrist light and a med tricorder. She tried desperately to restart the engines, but the power was completely drained. A phaser test proved futile. They didn't have many options.

Whoever had kidnapped the shuttle would surely have anything but friendly intentions. Kathryn was deeply worried about the children. This was one of those worst-case scenarios she feared the most. She was responsible for the well being of these three children and her pregnant chief-engineer. What if it was not in her power to keep them safe? She knew she had to be prepared for the worst. Five lives depended on her ability to handle the situation. As captain she couldn't show weakness and had to stay in control. She would be strong. Whatever it cost her.

They would have to keep trying to contact Voyager. Without the shuttle, they only had their commbadges to send a distress call. Brana and Nalea would need one too, in case they were truly separated.

Kathryn pressed three communicators in B'Elanna's hands. "We should reprogram these for the children to send a hidden signal via subspace, B'Elanna. And I want you to disable the translation matrix in the children's badges and your own."

"Disable the translator?" B'Elanna cast a questioning glance at the captain. "Why would you want me to do that, Captain?"

"I want you to trust me on this, B'Elanna. I don't have time for a discussion. I'm sure we won't be alone here for much longer."

They just had tucked the last device inside Naomi's shirt when the shuttle doors were ripped open. Three masked man appeared, their weapons immediately trained on the children. B'Elanna pushed the children behind her and the captain automatically moved between the aliens and her little crew.

"These are just innocent children. You don't have to threaten them. They mean you no harm." The men didn't react to her words, nor did they speak a word. "I want to know why you attacked us and brought us here."

"I don't like it when my prisoners talk without permission." The deep-throated voice belonged to another man who stepped out of the shadows. He gestured to the masked men to move aside and marched into the shuttle until he stood directly in front of the captain. He was tall, at least 6 feet and he towered over her. His skin was mottled dark grey and blue. Instead of hair, small ridges covered his head. His face was covered with ugly scars and the ice-cold, piercing look from his stone-coloured eyes made Kathryn cringe inwardly. He grabbed her at her collar, almost lifting her off the floor. His face was now so close to hers that his hot breathe burned the soft skin of her lips. She heard the violent rush of her own blood pound in her ears. But she didn't look away. She parried his transfixed gaze. For a second she sensed his astonishment, but he regained his control quickly. He was certainly not a man who would accept resistance. Before Kathryn had time to react, his right knee shot up and drove full force into her stomach. She didn't know if the scream she heard was her own or from the children. His hand let her go and she crumbled to the floor.

"Nobody makes demands to Salox. You will learn how to obey, woman."

Kathryn couldn't breathe. The pain was all consuming. Slowly she tried to force much needed air into her lungs. A hand was tenderly rubbing her back and she turned around carefully, only to face the shock in B'Elanna's eyes.

"I'll be fine." She whispered the words as she realized that something wet was trickling from her mouth. Closing her eyes for a second, she willed away the pain until it faded to a dull throbbing, then she started to stand up again. B'Elanna helped her get up from the floor and again they took their place in front of the children.

Salox had watched every movement the captain made, sickly fascinated by her strength and unbreakable willpower but when he saw the two small Angalarian's behind her, his menacing eyes seemed to spit fire.

"I have waited a very long time for this day." He turned around and left the shuttle, his last words spoken to the guards.

"Take them to the detention centre."

They were brought to an upper deck. The deeper they moved into the ship, the colder the air became around them. Finally they reached a large hallway with several heavy metallic doors on both sides. The guards stopped and opened the first door. Behind it was a small passage that led to another door. Wordlessly they ripped it open and the prisoners were shoved into the cell behind it.

The children hadn't dared to speak a word all the way to the cell. Nalea held hands tightly with Naomi and B'Elanna while Brana never left Kathryn's side. His dark brown eyes searched her face and she could see the shock and concern about Salox's open violence. The door had barely closed behind them when Kathryn and B'Elanna were on their knees, hugging the frightened children. They whispered soothing words, while the little ones held on to them with wide eyes. They didn't cry, but to see their distress and the emotional trauma was breaking their hearts. Brana searched the pockets of his trousers, pulled out a small scarf and ever so gently wiped away the blood from Kathryn's lips.

"You are hurt." He looked sadly at her.

Kathryn tucked a strand of black hair behind his ear. Her hand trailed tenderly over his cheek before she finally rested her finger under his chin, urging Brana to look her directly in the eyes.

"I'm fine. As Captain, I am prepared for a situation like this. Don't worry about me." She made eye contact with Naomi and Nalea too and reassured them again. "I want you to trust B'Elanna and me. Don't talk to the strangers. I want you to stay behind us as much as possible."

The children nodded as they began to examine the room. It was dimly lit. Apart from the lousy excuse for a mattress, there was nothing but the cold metallic floor. One corner was partitioned off from the rest of the cell by a simple wooden wall. Behind it, they found a hole in the floor and a bucket. The pungent smell from both easily betrayed its purpose. They checked the walls for any gaps in the force fields, but found none. The door of the cell was locked from the outside. They had no way out. They could only wait and hope that Voyager could pick up one of their comm. signals.

Half an hour passed and B'Elanna had started to pace the floor in circles. The cold was slowly creeping into their bodies. Nalea and Brana were obviously resistant against it, but Naomi and B'Elanna had started to shiver. Their Kytarian and Klingon heritage was an advantage in warmer regions, but both suffered in the cold. Kathryn had removed her jacket and turtleneck. She made Naomi put on the turtleneck and covered B'Elanna with the jacket. The chief engineer tried to protest but the glare she received from her captain made it unmistakably clear. Don't argue with me.

B'Elanna and Kathryn watched the children sleep. Naomi lay in the middle of the mattress, Nalea and Brana stretched out left and right of her, each holding one of Naomi's hands. They had noticed their exhaustion and put the children to rest. After the traumatic events of the day, they hoped they would get at least a few hours of uninterrupted sleep.

"She has grown so much." Afraid to wake her up, Kathryn resisted the urge to smooth over Naomi's hair. Then her eyes met B'Elanna's and for a second she couldn't hide her concern and fear. B'Elanna couldn't remember any other time when the captain had let her guard down so openly. She wanted to say something, anything to reassure her and realized now as clearly as never before, that there was nothing she could say, so she sat down beside her on the floor and just took her hand.

Kathryn had closed her eyes and leaned her head against the wall. When she felt B'Elanna's hand in her own, she squeezed it softly.

"Don't worry, B'Elanna. We will get through this somehow." She opened her eyes again and B'Elanna knew immediately what was coming. She had seen this determined expression many times before. It usually meant Kathryn Janeway would volunteer, even if the mission was suicide. A situation that was too dangerous for one of her crew, wasn't for the captain.

"If what Namara told me is true, Nalea and Brana will not be in real danger for another 10 days. Did you see the look in Salox's eyes before he left? He wants these children, but he knows he has to wait." Kathryn paused for a moment, knowing it would not be easy to convince B'Elanna of her plans.

"Salox is certainly not interested in the children alone. Namara told us about people who would kill to find Angalaria. I'm sure he knows the secret legend and is searching for the door to the other side. He'll come back soon to find out what we know about the polara. I'm deeply worried about what this man could do to Naomi or you." Kathryn could no longer look at B'Elanna.

"If he comes back, you will not interfere. Don't confront him. Don't speak to him. I want you to stay behind and take care of the children. That's an order, Lieutenant." Once the words were out, everything fell into place. B'Elanna suddenly realized why the captain had made her deactivate the translation matrix in the commbadges.

"You think you can convince him that we can't understand him. That it's useless to question us." B'Elanna shook her head angrily. She would not give in so easily. "Sooner or later he'll call your bluff. And what about you, Captain? You will talk to him? We've already seen he's not a man to accept no for an answer. How long do you think you can hold him off?"

"As long as I have to." Kathryn's answer was only whispered. She grabbed B'Elanna by her shoulders. "You are carrying a new life, your first child, B'Elanna. I can't risk your health and that of your unborn child. I know it's hard to accept and that I am asking a lot of you, but I'll need your support and strength to see this through."

B'Elanna knew it was useless to argue with Kathryn Janeway and finally nodded her consent. They leaned back against the wall and listened to the noises around them with closed eyes. Sleep wouldn't come for them.

Something had changed. The typical soft humming vibrations when a ship flew at impulse were gone. The ship was no longer moving. That was odd. Kathryn knew there were no planets or asteroids in a radius of 8 light-years from Voyager's position. She remembered then that they had detected a large nebula with long-range sensors before they met the Angalarians.

If Salox was hiding his ship there, it only confirmed her suspicions about his motives. He was searching for the polara. Knowing he was no match for Voyager's weapons, he had taken advantage of the emergency situation onboard Talaris and attacked at the weakest moment.

He still didn't know what to make of Voyager's presence here but it was only a question of time before he would try to find out.

They heard voices outside the door and the captain knew their time was up.


	3. Chapter 3: Darkness and light

**The Secret Of Angalaria**

by Gine

**Chapter 3 Darkness And Light**

The door flew open and Salox entered the cell, two armed guards on his heels. The children woke up and huddled close together at the edge of the mattress. B'Elanna and Kathryn took their places in front of them.

"I don't need to say much here." The threat in Salox's words was unmistakable. "You know why I've come." He looked directly at Kathryn and she accepted the challenge immediately.

"You are searching the polara." Her voice didn't waver when she answered him coldly. "You won't get any information about Angalaria from me."

Salox just grinned at her, but in his eyes she could see that her words had fired up his rage. He came closer, then leaned down to the captain to whisper in her ear while his cold glance rested at the frightened children behind her.

"Are you willing to risk the lives of these children for a simple piece of information? Or that of the angry woman at your side? I think I would enjoy having a little fun with her? Maybe she'll be willing to talk after I get through with her."

"You won't get any information from her or from the children. They can neither understand what you say nor will you know their language. I'm the only one here who knows where the polara can be found so you will have to talk with me."

If Salox was surprised by her words, he didn't show it. He turned to B'Elanna. His hand slowly moved to her stomach, while he still held eye contact with the captain.

"Maybe she can't understand me, but you can. Why should I bother with you when I can just let you watch what a good time I can have with her? It wouldn't be long before you begged me to stop."

Kathryn's eyes grew wide in horror. Salox was enjoying the terrified expression in her eyes. She knew he had called of her bluff.

"Don't touch her!"

"You're forgetting that no one gives orders to Salox, woman." His hand came up, but this time B'Elanna caught his wrist before his fist connected with the captain's face.

"B'Elanna, no!" Kathryn moved herself between her angry chief and Salox to stop his attack.

But she was no match for the furious man. He knocked her down with one strike of his large arm. B'Elanna stumbled backwards until her legs collided with the mattress. Salox was just about to ram into her when the next event seemed to happen in slow motion. Nalea had placed both her hands against B'Elanna's back. The light around her small body suddenly expanded and formed an aura around B'Elanna. Salox's hand repulsed as if he had burned it. He backed off. His eyes searched the room wildly until he caught sight of Naomi. But Brana was quicker. He touched the girl before Salox could reach her.

"By the power of light, you will not harm these good people." Brana spoke in a low voice, obviously capable of understanding Salox's native language.

For a moment Salox stood frozen as if lightening had struck him, but he recovered quickly. And than he smiled evilly.

"You are a fool. You share your power, but you just shortened your own protection. Two more days and you are all mine." Salox turned around and pulled the captain up from the floor.

"You can't save them all, Angalarian. Now if you'll excuse me, I will enjoy making this one talk to me." The guards grabbed the captain by her arms and she was led away from the cell.

The large room was almost dark with only a few tiny spotlights on the black walls. The guards had stopped but still held Kathryn in an iron grip. Salox had disappeared behind a wall on the other side of the room.

It was even colder here than in the cell. The air was wet and sticky. The ugly smell of sulphur and ethyl burned in her lungs.

It was uncomfortably silent, but Kathryn felt an unknown presence. Someone was hiding in the dark. She sensed it clearly now behind her, coming closer and closer. She felt the unmistakable prickle of her nerves, her hair stood on end and all her senses screamed alert. An invisible hand moved through her hair and she heard a sharp intake of breath.

Suddenly the lights on the walls went off. Footsteps came closer and with a loud buzzing sound, a single floodlight created a luminescent cone in the middle of the room. A large metallic cross came into view. Salox was leaning against it, his eyes focused on the captain.

"I am a man of action, Captain." Salox studied the reaction of his words on Kathryn's face, but apart from a deadly glare, he found none.

"Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager. We were finally able to break into the data bank of your little shuttle. I have to say I am impressed, Captain. You have come a long way. Too bad it is going to end here."

With a motion of his head, the mysterious person stepped out of the shadows behind Kathryn. He was almost as tall as Salox, but his complexion was completely different. He looked like an Angalarian but no light graced his form and his eyes stared lifelessly, two orbs of darkness. He was thin, haggard almost, a shadow of his former self. His hand reached out and when his bony fingers touched Kathryn's face, an electrical surge ran through her body. Needles of ice seemed to penetrate her skin and she gasped at the sudden pain. The eyes of the man lit up and his dead look was replaced by open hunger. Finally he broke the contact and turned to Salox.

"She is not Angalarian but I can feel an enormous source of power in her. And as you said, she knows where to find the polara? I want to make the meld with her."

"You will, Maran." Salox grinned, satisfied at the terror in Kathryn's eyes. "We both will."

He moved around his prisoner and pulled a knife from his boot. The sharp blade cut easily through her tank and trousers and only seconds later the last piece of clothing was ripped from her shivering body. She closed her eyes when she felt the tip of the knife press against her back. Very slowly Salox created fine red lines on the pale delicate skin. Small rivulets of crimson poured from the cuts. Kathryn tensed at the burning sensations but no scream passed her lips. She could feel his hot breath against her neck when he whispered in her ear.

"You're so brave, Captain. Let's see how strong you really are." He nodded at Maran and shouted to the guards. "Tie her up!"

Kathryn was pressed against the cross, arms and legs spread-eagled and strapped to the beams. The cold raw metal rubbed against her bleeding back and hurt her even more.

Maran wasted no time. His hands travelled over her body until his left found the place over her heart and his right connected with the pressure points at her temple and cheekbone. Kathryn's whole body convulsed in a series of shocks. Her chest seemed to be on fire. It felt like a flame was burning her from the inside out. The pain in her head was excruciating and against her will the first scream crossed her lips.

She could feel Maran invade her mind and concentrated all her willpower to hold him off. The electrical surges crashed against the walls she was desperately building. Tuvok's calm voice echoed through her thoughts. She tried focus on it, to retreat from the brutal assaults that Maran was constantly executing against her. Every new attempt to fight him created greater pain. A sheen of perspiration covered her whole body and pearls of sweat ran down her face to mix with the tears from her eyes. Her vision was blurred and the only thing she could see now was the hungry gleam in Maran's wide-open eyes.

He was bathing in the stream of light that he was sucking from his helpless victim. His moans of ecstasy were drowned under Kathryn's screams, until his hands started to shake and he finally removed them.

Kathryn's body jerked one last time, her eyes closed and her head dropped. Salox grabbed a fistful of her hair and forced her to look at him.

"I ask you again, Captain. Where is the polara?" His harsh voice boomed in her ears. Her blue eyes were still clouded from the horrible agony she had endured from the meld with Maran.

"You will never know." Kathryn's answer was just a breathless whisper. A fit of coughing racked through her when she tried to force much needed air into her lungs.

"I admire your courage, Captain. When we meld, I will enjoy feeding from your strength. And I promise you, the pain you just experienced with Maran will be nothing compared to what you will have to face then. You will beg me for mercy, but know I have none." Salox attached a small device into her hair. He knew a second meld now could kill her before she had given him what he wanted. Finally he let go of her head and turned to leave.

"Take her back to the cell and monitor her condition. As soon as she is ready for another meld bring her back."

After the guards had taken the Captain away, Nalea and Brana had sat down next to B'Elanna and Naomi. They looked sadly at their two friends and this time Nalea spoke.

"I am sorry we couldn't do anything for your captain. We can just share our light with one." A tear slowly rolled down the pale cheeks.

"It was the captain's choice." B'Elanna opened her arms and pulled the small girl on her lap. "I know, Nalea. I know." She tried to soothe the now openly crying child, hugging her tightly to her chest. Her voice almost broke at her next words. "You and Brana have protected Naomi's life and that of my child although you knew the consequences. You already gave more than we could ask for. What Salox does is not your fault."

Nalea's sobbing quieted down and after awhile she fell asleep in B'Elanna's arms. Brana's head rested on Naomi's legs. The meld had tired the children out. Naomi had not spoken a word all the time and B'Elanna was deeply concerned about her. Although the life on Voyager and the training Naomi got from her friends had prepared her for dangerous situations, the confrontation with the brutal reality was an experience that they had all hoped to spare her from. B'Elanna was amazed when the girl took her hand and finally spoke.

"Don't worry about me, B'Elanna. We have to be strong for the captain."

B'Elanna's fingers tightened around Naomi's hand and she had to bite down on her lip to hide her distress that the brave words caused.

"I am so proud of you, Naomi. And I'm sure the Captain knows she can rely on her assistant. We just have to hold out a little longer."

"I hope Voyager comes soon." This time Naomi's voice cracked a little.

"They will, Naomi. They will." B'Elanna prayed it would not be too late.

A guard came, bringing water and some kind of bread to eat. Time moved on, the minutes stretching to an hour before they heard noises behind the cell door. It opened and someone came in very slowly.

"Captain?" In the dim light B'Elanna couldn't see her face. She was no longer wearing her uniform; instead of it a grey filthy gown covered her body. It barely reached her knees. The door closed behind Kathryn and her hand reached out to find some support. She turned to lean her shoulder against the wall and her head sagged against it. When her legs gave out under her, B'Elanna was beside her, stopping her fall.

With B'Elanna supporting most of Kathryn's weight, they made it to the mattress. The children moved aside and very carefully B'Elanna helped Kathryn to lie down. She took in the captain's condition, her hair still wet from perspiration, the shaking hands, the dark rimmed eyes.

"What did they do to you?"

"I'm fine. Just tired, B'Elanna." Kathryn's voice sounded hoarse and detached. B'Elanna leaned down to her and whispered.

"We both know that's not true." Their eyes met and she saw the silent plea in the captain's eyes to let it go.

Naomi had placed a cup of water in B'Elanna's hand.

"I'll let you rest, Captain, but first I want you to drink this, okay?" Kathryn nodded and finished the cup with B'Elanna's help. She made a face at the stale taste, but gave a hint of a smile to reassure her little crew.

"No coffee?"

"Sorry, Captain." B'Elanna's smile did not reach her eyes. The exhaustion finally claimed its prize and the Captain drifted off to sleep.

She didn't get much rest. Only two hours later, the guards came back for her. B'Elanna protested loudly and only Brana's desperate cries stopped her from attacking the guards.

Maran was already waiting. His eyes no longer looked dead. Greediness burned in them now. He had tasted Kathryn's power, had devoured the flood of emotions the first meld had ripped from her and he wanted more. If he couldn't make her talk this time, Salox would have free range with her.

Again Maran's fingers crept over Kathryn's oversensitive skin, making her shiver violently. He was breathing heavily, his gaze fixated on Kathryn's face. When he finally connected with her again, his eyes closed, his mouth opened slightly and he groaned in satisfaction.

The force of the second meld overpowered Kathryn's senses with an eruption of pain. Maran was tearing down all her defences. Bodiless hands of fire reached for her sanity, their searing flames eating her alive. The walls crumbled, hundreds of repressed memories flooded her mind and she flashed back to the most painful experiences of her life, only to face them all over again.

Maran was in utter ecstasy and completely detached from reality. In his insatiable thirst for her emotions, he no longer cared about the physical condition of the captain, which deteriorated rapidly under the ruthless rape of her mind. Kathryn screamed until her voice gave out.

The emotional impact overloaded her nervous system, all her muscles cramped, her body strained against the rough straps until she finally collapsed.

When the cell door opened this time, a guard appeared and the still body of the captain was thrown into the room. B'Elanna was at her side before the door was completely closed again. Her fingers searched for a pulse, and for a few seconds she was afraid she wouldn't find one. When she did, it was faint and unsteady. Kathryn's skin was cold, although her body was covered with sweat. Her lips, hands and feet had taken on a bluish colour and B'Elanna could see now the raw marks, where they had strapped her to the cross. When she searched for further injuries she noticed the dark stains on the back of the captain's gown. She removed the filthy shirt carefully and gasped out in horror at the sight of the bleeding carvings.

Naomi and Brana helped her to move the captain to the mattress. They placed her on her stomach and started to clean the angry wounds with the little water they had left. Soft moans came from the captain, but she never regained consciousness.

All they could do was wait. B'Elanna paced the floor again while the children sat beside the captain's makeshift bed. Naomi was holding one of Kathryn's hands in a futile effort to give her some warmth. She was the first who felt the change in the captain's condition. The hand she held was suddenly warming up. The skin was no longer cold, but now burning up with fever.

The captain started to move slowly and than her eyes opened, only to reveal that she could no longer recognize the world around her. She stared unfocused into the darkness and when she begun to talk her words broke B'Elanna's heart.

"Mum, I'm sorry, Mum, I couldn't help them. Please…don't hurt them, they're just children. Take me instead. B'Elanna forgive me, I'm responsible for my crew…oh Kes, I miss you so…I had no choice, please…don't leave me…I'm alone …Chakotay, he is angry…my peace."

"Captain, please! You have to calm down!" B'Elanna didn't know how to soothe the agitated woman in her arms. She could just hold her through her nightmare. Silent tears fell from her eyes and her mind screamed. _Chakotay where are you?_

The fever was climbing fast and the captain had become quiet again. The only sound in the cell was her breathing that came in ragged gasps. B'Elanna sat at the floor beside the mattress. Her head was in her hands when she felt someone touch her shoulder. She looked up to see Naomi silently motion towards the bed.

Nalea and Brana knelt beside the captain. The girl had placed her hands at Kathryn's temples while Brana's hands rested over her heart. Both children had closed their eyes and seemed to be in some kind of trance.

The captain's face was flushed from the high fever. In the dim light of the cell, the pearls of sweat that ran down her face looked like tears. Brana was whispering something that B'Elanna couldn't understand, but it sounded like one of Chakotay's native chants. The light that usually surrounded the Angalarian children faded, except for their hands, which now radiated an almost white light. It seemed to flow from their palms into the captain's body. It spread out all over her skin, until her whole form was engulfed by a translucent aura. Slowly the unnatural flush of the fever receded and her breathing eased. The light around Kathryn faded and returned to Nalea and Brana. Both opened their eyes and smiled down at the captain. Her blue eyes still looked tired, but the unfocused expression they had seen earlier was replaced by clearness again.

"You gave us quite a scare, Captain." B'Elanna's words were only whispered, but never belied her seriousness. "How do you feel?"

"Exhausted." Kathryn didn't dare say fine. The concerned expression in B'Elanna's eyes spoke volumes and showed she would only accept the truth.

Kathryn knew how much it had cost B'Elanna to stand back without a fight. She had learned to control her temper and found peace in the unique relationship that she shared with Tom. Still her conflicted nature made her even more sensible in situations like this one.

"I am so proud of you, B'Elanna." Kathryn's hand reached out for her and B'Elanna squeezed it gently. "You have come a long way and you never choose the easy path. You are not only an excellent engineer and officer; you are a wonderful friend. I'm sorry that I never took the time to tell you this before."

B'Elanna was deeply moved by the captain's words and replied seriously.

"You know I'm learning from the best. And my beloved captain is a great example."

Kathryn had to look away, overwhelmed by the emotion of their words. Her eyes finally rested on Nalea and Brana. She knew they were running out of time. Their protection would only last for a day now. And it was only a question of hours before the guards would return.

She never had that long. The cell door was ripped open and Salox himself came for her.

"I see you had help to regain your strength, Captain." Salox grinned at Nalea and Brana. "I should thank you. After all you shortened my waiting time. And I have waited long enough. Say good bye, Captain."

Kathryn stood up slowly, still suffering from the effects of her last ordeal. She felt B'Elanna's hand on her arm and saw the pain in her dark brown eyes, but they both knew the captain had no choice. Kathryn turned and started for the door when Naomi's crying broke the deadly silence of the room.

"No, please, don't take her away." She had reached the captain and moved to stand in front of her. "You've hurt her so much already. Take me instead of her, but let her go."

"Naomi, no." Kathryn grabbed the girl and hugged her tightly. She stroked away the tears that streamed down the small face and placed a kiss on her hair.

"Don't cry, honey. Everything will be all right. I love you, Naomi."

There was nothing else Kathryn could say to comfort her; the guards had already removed her from the child. Before the door closed behind her, she turned around one last time.

B'Elanna held Naomi in her arms as Nalea and Brana hugged her legs. Her eyes were brimming with tears.


	4. Chapter 4: At the abyss

**The Secret Of Angalaria**

by Gine

**Chapter 4 At the abyss **

"Finally it's just you and me, Captain."

Salox had sent the guards away and Maran was nowhere to be seen. Salox stood directly in front of the cross, intently studying the face of the woman who was secured to the beam for the third time.

"Maran was a fool. He tried to feed his own mind behind my back and almost killed you in the process. His thirst for power was unquenchable. The lost soul of an Angalarian can never be restored, not even by someone as strong as you are. Most people he melded with never lived through the first time." Salox nodded at the reaction that he saw in Kathryn's eyes.

"Yes, he was an Angalarian once, a pure soul full of light. He was still young and so innocent when I captured him. I thrived on his powers for a very long time, but his service was no longer needed. He almost destroyed the best chance I've ever had of finding his home-world. The guards made sure he would never see it again." Salox grinned smugly at Kathryn.

"Ah, Captain. Do I see pity in your eyes? That is uncalled for. His death was quick and painless. You however are going to know every facet of pain until I have what I want."

Salox reached for a cylindrical object, the top of which was gleaming red. "The coordinates of the polara, Captain?"

Kathryn no longer looked at him, answering his threats with silence. Salox was quickly loosing his patience.

"You will talk to me, woman, or I will beat every little syllable out of your fragile body."

He raised his arm high over his head and aimed the glowing device at Kathryn's body. When it came down, an orange plasma beam lashed out from it and met Kathryn's left thigh with a loud hiss. The pain was different from the one that she had faced from Maran's hands.

Although her leg appeared unharmed, her skin felt like it had been ripped from her. Hot searing pain shot up her leg, making it strain against the tight straps around her ankle.

Before she could recover, Salox aimed at her other leg. Blow after blow followed, the sound of the plasma-whip now mixed with agonized screams. Her desperate attempts to suppress the urge to cry out had been lost when the whip had met the sensitive skin of her breasts. As much as she had tried to steal herself against the torture, this was beyond every expectation and no Starfleet training could have prepared her for the brutality of Salox's assault. The excruciating sensations raced though her body, spread into every single cell and made her feel like they would burst.

Her hands cramped into fists and her breathing quickened alarmingly. Her skin was wet with perspiration and glistened in the cone of the harsh light that surrounded her.

"The location of the Polara!" Salox was rapidly loosing his temper, constantly demanding an answer, but all he got from the captain was a breathless "Go to hell!"

Faster and faster the whip placed burning kisses on Kathryn's convulsing form. She no longer felt the difference between the single hits. Her body was one great mass of fire and Salox was constantly pouring oil into it.

The word polara echoed through her consciousness, but she never gave voice to her knowledge of it. When her vocal chords gave out and her head dropped, Salox knew he could never break her with the whip.

Icy water shocked Kathryn back to awareness. Salox was out of sight, but she felt his presence close to her. Two gloved hands touched her hips from behind the cross. She felt the rough texture of leather and metal move in slow circles on her still oversensitive skin. Cold long fingers crept over her stomach and traced patterns in the mix of sweat and water. One hand made its way upwards, while the other dangerously trailed downwards. Salox was breathing heavily behind her. His mouth close to her ear, he whispered to her.

"You're a beautiful woman, Captain." His right hand contoured over the soft skin of her breast, while his left started to invade her most private of places, tearing at wet hair and fumbling over delicate skin.

Kathryn froze inwardly. Her breath wanted to stick in her throat, but she willed herself to breathe evenly. This was hurting her beyond any physical pain, but she knew if she flinched at Salox's molesting touches, he would certainly take advantage of her resistance and assume this could be a more promising way to torture her.

His touches grew more demanding, his hands both at her breasts now hurting her with bruising squeezes. The metal that was attached to the fingertips of the gloves started to vibrate and when Salox touched her now, Kathryn felt again the melding pain that she had experienced earlier with Maran. This time it cut deeper. The blood in her veins seemed to boil and it crept through her body like a snake of lava. The forced stimulation of her synapses increased the sensibility of her already overstressed senses to the limits of endurance.

"This little device allows me to control the melding process much better. I can mutilate every emotion, Captain. In the end, dark shadows will be all that is left of your soul. I ask you one last time. Where is the polara?"

Again silence was his only answer, and that angered Salox more than anything. He came around the cross and reached with both hands for Kathryn's head. A strong electrical shockwave raced through her when the humming metal connected with her temples.

At first all she felt was a slight headache, but it quickly became stronger until the pain hit like blows from a hammer. She squeezed her eyes shut at the constant pounding. The sound of her own hammering heartbeat echoed in her ears, red and white spots affecting her vision. Nausea threatened to overwhelm her and she gasped to fill her straining lungs with much needed air.

The pounding turned into stabbing and it felt like thousands of sharp needles were piercing her brain all at once. The pain in her head exploded in a supernova of bright streaming light and her mind completely lost control of her nervous system. The last barrier was broken and Kathryn's deepest emotions were violently pulled into the open. The essence of her soul was finally exposed to the hungry darkness and Salox started to infiltrate her emotional memory core. He could not read her mind, but she could no longer hide her deepest fears and protect her most precious feelings from the desecration that Salox was executing at her.

Her whole body reacted to the adrenalin flash that was released at the flood of suppressed emotions. Pictures and sounds of her own life raced through her mind like a film being viewed at warp-speed. The face of her crying mother, a broken shuttle in a desert of ice, Chakotay's dimpled smile, the howling of a little dog, screams in the darkness, Justin's earnest eyes, Mark stroking over her hair, Kes leaving Voyager, the Maquis Captain on Voyager's view-screen, the exploding Equinox, the shrieks of an ape, Chakotay's naked shoulder under her hands, the human Borg-drone crying in her arms, Tom aiming for a pool-ball, Tuvix's last words at her, a beautiful necklace, Chakotay leaving her ready room, Belanna shaking hands with Joe Carey, Tuvok blowing out his birthday candle, Chakotay's tattoo, Naomi in the arms of her mother, Harry playing the clarinet, the Doc small as a dwarf, Chakotay's brown eyes, Boothby's rose, Seven singing a duet with the Doc, her mother's house in Indiana, a beautiful beach in the sunlight, Chakotay toasting her with a glass of cider, Chakotay's angry face, the moon over Lake George reflected in Chakotay's eyes, Chakotay's voice calling her Kathryn for the very first time, Chakotay's hand locking with hers…Chakotay. His face was her last constant in the chaotic maelstrom that threatened to drown her.

Salox had sensed the powerful bond that Kathryn shared with someone else and knew he had found her greatest strength and her greatest weakness. He adjusted the devices on his gloves to the highest possible setting and began his final conquest. His hands wandered again over Kathryn's nude body, while his face was only inches from hers. His right hand came up and his index finger slowly trailed over her lips, burning the soft skin there. His face came closer and closer until his cold mouth almost touched her cheek. He put out his rough tongue and slowly began to lick the mix of sweat and tears from her face.

She could not move away from him. One of his strong hands held her head in place, while the other was roaming her body.

Salox was moaning in arousal as his tongue hovered over Kathryn's parted lips. When his mouth pressed over hers, Kathryn's heart shattered. She closed her eyes in a last desperate attempt to detach herself from the brutal reality around her. Chakotay's smiling face came to her, a saving light in the darkness, but when she reached out to him, the love in his expressive brown eyes started to vanish. They turned stone grey and cold. The familiar contours changed rapidly and Salox's cruel face entered her thoughts. Her screams only sounded in her mind.


	5. Chapter 5: Just in time

**The Secret Of Angalaria**

by Gine

**Chapter 5 Just in time**

Two days had passed since the alien ship had kidnapped the shuttle with the two Angalarian children, Naomi, B'Elanna and the captain.

The destruction of Talaris had left Voyager without engines and they had started repairs on the propulsion systems immediately. The damage to the core had been greater than expected and Joe Carey estimated at least 30 hours before Voyager would be impulse and warp capable again.

As soon as all the Angalarians were safely settled on Voyager, Chakotay ordered a briefing with Samantha Wildman, Namara, Araman and all senior officers. When Araman spoke, they finally learned who had attacked them and why.

23 years ago, a unique natural phenomenon had befallen the third planet of the Angalarian system. The higher atmosphere of the planet had been hit by a series of dark matter particles, comparable with a large meteorite shower. When the particles hit the radioactive gases of the rings surrounding the planet, it caused a nuclear fission and the chain reaction that followed created a short rift in the time-space continuum. It only lasted a few seconds, but a ship with 28 Angalarians disappeared in the accident. They had been studying the spectral colours of the rings when the phenomenon appeared and their ship was pulled through the opening to the other side of space.

Four months later a small ship from Welora, a world of peaceful traders, sent a distress call in Angalarian codes directed at the entry of the polara. To the happiness of their families, 22 of the lost had found a secure way back. But they brought terrible news home. Their ship had encountered the Samarians, a violent race known for its persevering hunt for Angalaria's secret. With a defenceless, drifting vessel they had had no chance to escape. Six Angalarian lost their lives in the prison on Samara Prime. The rest escaped with the help of a Welorian transport ship that secretly smuggled food into the detention centre. Araman and Namara had been among the survivors. The ship that had destroyed Talaris was Samarian without question and it was here to find the polara at any cost.

Everyone in the room knew the consequences of this information. Samantha was close to tears, Tom's face registered deep shock and Chakotay had a dangerous expression in his eyes, eyes which had turned from warm brown to burning black. But Voyager's crew was well trained. Their first priority had to be the rescue mission. They couldn't waste time dwelling on the danger that the children, Belanna and the captain were facing.

Tom and Harry took the Delta Flyer to follow the Samarian ship while Voyager was brought back to peak condition in record time. 28 hours later both ships rendezvoused at the border of the nebula, where the flyer had lost the trail of the Samarians. They knew the alien vessel would play dead in the water and hide in the nebula to avoid being detected, but Seven and Harry came up with a plan to send three modified probes in different vectors within the nebula to scan for fluctuations in the particle density. That took more time than they had hoped, but 6 hours later they had located the exact position of the hiding vessel.

Careful not to alarm the other ship, Voyager entered the nebula and slowly manoeuvred closer. At regular intervals Tuvok scanned for Starfleet signatures, but the intense radiation of the nebular gases seemed to disperse every signal in a wide range. They had almost reached the Samarian ship when the emergency codes from four different commbadges activated the comm-system. Two belonged to B'Elanna and Naomi; the others had a standard Starfleet signature. They decoded B'Elanna's short message and adapted the hailing frequencies to avoid detection.

Tension was written on the faces of the bridge crew while Tuvok tried to make contact. For a few seconds there was only static, but finally B'Elanna's voice came over the comm. Tom's eyes closed in relief.

"It's about time, guys." Although they all smirked at B'Elanna's remark, Tom immediately sensed the distress in the whispered words. Something was definitively not right. He turned around and looked at Chakotay. He appeared to be calm and in full control of the situation, but his eyes reflected Tom's concern and something else, something that Tom had never seen so unguarded in Chakotay's eyes before. Fear.

"Are you alright, B'Elanna?"

"The children are with me. We're not hurt." B'Elanna paused, searching for the right words. "Chakotay, they've taken the captain again. The last time we saw her, she was far from fine."

"Can we beam them out safely, Tuvok?" Chakotay was already on his way to the tactical station. He could read the answer in Tuvok's reserved gestures, even before the Vulcan had said a word.

"We can transport Lieutenant Torres and the children without raising attention, but I can't get a lock on the captain. I can read neither her signature nor her life-signs. Our sensors can't penetrate the shielding of a larger area close to where Lieutenant Torres is."

B'Elanna had heard Tuvok's report and now her Klingon temper was reaching the limits of her restraint. She had stood back long enough without taking action, and it was eating her alive to know that at this moment her captain was going through hell for their safety, unable to defend herself.

Her voice was no longer a whisper. It now sounded strong and impatient. "Beam the children out and send a rescue team. I'm waiting here." She knew what would follow and added before anyone could order her to stand back again. "I won't leave the captain behind."

Tom sprung up from the con; his eyes searched Chakotay's in a silent plea. B'Elanna's last words spoke volumes to him. He could only begin to imagine how hard it must have been for her.

Chakotay knew what Kathryn Janeway expected of him. In a crisis like this his place as First Officer was on Voyager's bridge, as the leader of the crew. As long as the captain was in the hands of the Samarians, he didn't have the luxury of following his first instincts, of allowing the powerful, darker side of his nature to emerge and go after her himself. He nodded at Tom and ordered Tuvok and Ayala to assemble a security team.

When he spoke to B'Elanna again, Harry was already preparing the beam out of the children.

"You've got company, B'Elanna. Be careful."

Five minutes later Chakotay witnessed a tearful reunion in the transporter room. Samantha Wildman was hugging Naomi tightly; afraid she would disappear if she would let her go, while Namara and Araman enclosed Nalea and Brana in their arms. Golden light flooded the small room, the relief about the children's save return visibly radiating from the Angalarians.

But the stress and the emotional trauma the children had been through was clearly written on their pale faces. Naomi's small body was tightly wrapped in a grey turtleneck, four shinny pips revealing its former owner. Red-rimmed eyes looked exhausted and sad, silently questioning the adults before them as to why this had happened. Everybody knew at this moment that no logical explanation would console the wounded souls of the children. They could just take them into their arms, whisper soothing words and give much needed safety and love. They would need time to heal.

B'Elanna wasn't even five minutes alone before the familiar blue of the transporter beam filled the cell a second time and the rescue team arrived. She was in Tom's arms before she knew it. He embraced her tightly and then leaned back to look into the face of his wife. Turbulent brown eyes met concerned blue. Only the sound of a medical tricorder broke the silence.

"I'm fine, Tom. We don't have time for this now. We have to find the captain." Belanna was uncomfortable under his gaze. She'd had to keep in control too long. Her patience was wearing thin and she looked expectantly at Tuvok. "I hope you brought my emergency backpack."

Without raising an eyebrow, he handed it to her and from that moment on, everybody concentrated fully on the final mission. While Tuvok noiselessly disabled the door-lock, B'Elanna adjusted a special scanner to warn them of guards, but apparently the deck was clear. The Samarian vessel had a crew complement of 43; at least in the parts of the ship the sensors could penetrate. Most of them were on the higher decks. The shielded area that Tuvok had located earlier was only one hallway down. It led to a double gate that was protected by a high energy force field. They knew that if they disabled it now, they would risk not only detection but the life of the captain as well. The element of surprise would be their greatest advantage if they found her under guard.

B'Elanna was feverishly working on the power-generator to bypass the system without raising attention. It had to appear online when she disabled the field. She used a tricorder to send false data and finally the barrier collapsed.

The tricorder still got no clear readings from inside of the detention centre they found behind the gate. Something was scattering the signals leaving them no alternative but to search every room. Three hallways led in different directions so they decided to divide into teams of two. Dalby went with Tuvok, Jefferson with Ayala and Tom with B'Elanna.

The corridor was dark and silent. The air was pregnant with an ugly smell and seemed to cool down with every step that B'Elanna and Tom made further down the hallway. When they reached the door at its end, the changing tricorder readings indicated that they had found the second shield generator. It was hidden under a panel close to the door and protected by another force field. Again a bypass was quickly attached to the wall and seconds later the sensors of the tricorder finally showed two almost merged life-signs in the room behind the wall. One signal was strong and alien, the other much fainter and clearly human. Before Tom could hold her back, B'Elanna ripped the door open.

Never in her life would she forget the horrendous sight that she had to face when her eyes adjusted to the contrast between dark and light. Her pale skinned captain was tied to a large cross, while one of Salox's dark gloved hands roamed her uncovered body that strained in painful convulsions against the unyielding metal. She couldn't see the captain's face; Salox was holding her head, his mouth pressed to her blue lips.

His hands dropped in surprise at the sudden noise behind him and he turned around quickly.

"You…"

He never had the time to finish his sentence before the stunning phaser beam sent him to the floor.

Tom stood in the doorway staring in shock at the cross and than at B'Elanna. Her arm dropped and the phaser clattered to the floor. The noise when it impacted with the floor shocked them both out of their petrifaction. Tom picked up the weapon and B'Elanna quickly searched her bag for a cutting tool.

The captain had not moved an inch. Her head was down; strands of sweaty hair covered her eyes.

"Captain?" B'Elanna carefully reached for her. Kathryn's head shot up and for a second her blue eyes reflected an unimaginable vulnerability and pain.

Afraid to hurt her, B'Elanna didn't dare touch her more than she had to while Tom sliced through the tight straps on her wrists and ankles. The skin was rubbed raw, the wounds open, blood oozing from them and slowly trickling down Kathryn's arms and feet, leaving scarlet rivulets in the sheen of perspiration that covered her much too pale skin. No other signs were visible of the horrible pain that Salox had inflicted on her.

The captain stood shivering. Her legs unsteady, she leaned heavily against the cross. Strong arms helped her to find her balance. B'Elanna removed the jacket that the captain had given her earlier and very carefully put it around her shoulders. During it all, Kathryn had not spoken a single word and B'Elanna wondered if she even recognized them.

The phaser fire had alerted the Samarian guards and it was only a question of seconds now before they came for them, but Tom had already contacted the other teams and Voyager, and without any further command, Harry initiated the transport in record time. When the guards stormed the detention centre, all they saw was the last blue particle of light that dematerialised in the darkness.

B'Elanna and Tom materialised in sickbay, the captain between them. They helped her to the nearest biobed, but she refused to lie down. She moved out of their protecting arms slowly, and nobody dared to touch her again. Her eyes were focused on the console closest to her.

The Doctor was examining Naomi, Nalea and Brana on the other side of the room and looked up. The smile that he had for the children disappeared and his eyes grew serious when he took in the condition of the captain. He grabbed another tricorder, but never reached her. She turned away so suddenly that neither B'Elanna nor Tom could stop her. Her shaking hands raced over the touch-screen and before anyone had the chance to examine her, the captain had beamed herself to her quarters.

to be continued


	6. Chapter 6: Bruised and battered

**The Secret Of Angalaria**

by Gine

**Chapter 6 Bruised and battered**

I was bruised and battered.

I couldn't tell what I felt.

I was unrecognisable to myself.

Saw my reflection in the view port, staring back at me.

It was black and the stars were whispering.

But I couldn't hear what they said.

I wanted to scream, but the words were stuck in my soul.

My voice was gone, and my heart felt like the dark had ripped it from me.

I heard the blood in my veins, it was burning.

I wanted to cry; but the tears were frozen inside me.

I prayed for rescue

My prayer a name:

CHAKOTAY.

Kathryn's hand reached for the few silver lines of light in a desperate gesture, the silent move a deep expression of longing. But it only touched the glass of the view-port. Compared to her cold hand it felt almost warm, alive. And in a special way it was. Voyager, her ship, home of her family, her heaven and sometimes her personal hell.

She heard the door open and close, but never moved away from the view port. Her eyes stared unfocused into the dark that seemed to have extended into her quarters, into her soul.

He could barely make out her small frame in the lightless room. She was just a shape in the shadows.

"Kathryn." The way Chakotay whispered her name and the warmth of his hands around her naked waist shocked her back into reality. Her skin felt ice cold and clammy. Gently he turned her around.

The time seemed to slow in the very moment their eyes met. He saw the doubt, the hurt, vulnerability and pain beyond words. The emotions in the blue depths were an open display of the ordeal she had gone through and of the deep wounds it had left. He wanted to cry.

"I'll hold you, Kathryn." He didn't need any more words.

Slowly she leaned against him, her head sagging against the place over his heart. When her legs gave out under her, his arms were there to catch her and stop her fall. Her last reserves were used up. Her body and mind could finally let go and she broke down completely in his embrace.

The Doctor was already waiting at the nearest biobed when Commander Chakotay materialised in sickbay with the unconscious captain in his arms.

He put her down gently, even now afraid of hurting her. The clear lights of sickbay finally revealed the bleeding abrasions on her swollen wrists and ankles. A large bruise had coloured her abdomen blue.

Chakotay stared in horror at his hands. They were covered with blood. Kathryn's blood. Very carefully he rolled her over. The sight of her back made him want to be sick. The swollen cuts still wept and showed the first signs of infection. The abrasiveness of the raw metal of the cross and the constant wetness of her skin had aggravated the wounds. He gasped for air, his hands balled into fists. Tears blurred his vision and finally spilled from his eyes.

A hand reached for him and guided him out of the Doctor's way. Tom led him into the washroom. He didn't say a word. His eyes full of compassion, he just patted Chakotay's shoulder then left him alone.

The hot water almost burned his skin, but his eyes were fixated on the faint red streams that soiled the sterile white of the washbasin until they were no longer visible, but they stayed in his mind.

Dark eyes in a face that had lost all colour stared back at him from the mirror. The fine lines of his tattoo looked raven-black. His hand moved shakily through his hair and finally he pressed it over his mouth to stop himself from crying out loud.

_Oh God, Kathryn, what have they done to you?_

He knew he had to be strong now. And he prayed that this hadn't destroyed her beyond his ability to help her heal. The shattered look in her eyes had gripped his heart like an iron fist.

When he returned from the bathroom, the Doctor was still scanning the captain. The serious expression on the hologram's face spoke volumes. His eyes never left the medical tricorder, while he ordered Tom to pass him several different hyposprays. One drug after another was administered into the still figure on the bed. The desperation in the Doctor's actions was quickly rising. Whatever he did, nothing seemed to have an effect on his precious patient. The monitor at the captain's temple flashed several times, and alarms began to ring. Her heart beat, blood pressure and respiratory rate were dropping dangerously.

The Doctor was just about to shock her back to life, when the sickbay doors flew open and Namara and Araman appeared. They approached the bed from two sides. Namara stood on the left while Araman took his place on the right.

Hands of light covered Kathryn's chest and temples then slowly spread out in all directions, until her skin was no longer snow-white, but glowing almost translucent. The two Angalarians had closed their eyes, deep concentration showing on their features.

The Doctor stood with his mouth open, but not one word came out. He stared in fascination at the transformation that was happening to his patient and the tricorder readings that indicated her starting to recovery. The captain's condition was stabilizing and the horrible sound that announced imminent heart failure finally ceased. Still deeply asleep she was breathing normally again. Only the superficial wounds stayed. The Doctor could take care of them easily enough now.

Namara and Araman were just about to remove their hands, when the Angalarian woman suddenly cried out a word, a name, unknown to the Doctor, Tom and Chakotay.

"Maran."

Her hands broke the connection with the captain abruptly and reached for her own temples. All light faded rapidly from her corporal form, her skin became ashen and the shine of her silver hair faded to grey. Her wonderful clear blue eyes coloured dark as the sea at midnight and tears streamed from them. Although Araman appeared physically unaffected, everyone in sickbay saw the pained expression in his dark eyes. Deep sadness and grief mirrored there, when his arms closed around his mate. He whispered something to her that they couldn't understand and his aura started to engulf Namara until they both seemed to sway in a circle of light.

Chakotay had never before seen something so heartbreakingly sad and still so beautiful. All this time he had stood beside the captain's biobed, a silent suffering watcher, but now while Araman melded with Namara, his hand unconsciously connected with Kathryn's. For him this touch was just as intimate as the joining of the Angalarians.

Eventually Namara regained her composure, but the light around her was still subdued. She seemed no longer to radiate it from inside. The golden rays had diffused to a cloud of white, and she looked like a fairy surrounded by early morning mists. Her ethereal aura covered her now like a cloak of silent grief.

"Your Captain has faced a terrible ordeal. There are sure signs that she has gone through a forced soul-melding process at least three times." Namara closed her eyes for a few seconds and when she opened them again, Chakotay could see the silver glance of fresh tears. "It is the greatest sacrilege an Angalarian can commit to."

Namara could see the silent question in Chakotay's eyes. What was she talking about? She looked at Araman and at his nodded permission she began to explain.

"We told you there is a legend about our people: The Secret of Angalaria. You and your crew have risked so much to save our children and protect our world. We owe you the truth. The people of Angalaria are one of the twelve guardians of life, sheltering the stream that connects everything. Behind the universe lies one truth that is driven by the eternal fight between two counteracting forces. Darkness and Light."

"Our people were chosen to channel these powers and found the perfect balance of both: Peace. We were the spring and became the river, now we are the sea. As you will be, when your time comes. You may ask, what is this miraculous power I am talking about? It is the flame of life that burns in everything. It is the greatest power; it is the seed and the fruit. It is creation, death and rebirth. Every being chooses its very own way and every experience in life creates a new facet to complete what you are, your soul. The subconscious and the conscious emotional memory core are the essence of the soul. We all carry it through many lives and while we journey through time, in ours souls we collect the powerful knowledge that defines existence. Angalaria's people live in complete harmony with the nature of the universe. There is more than the reality you can see with your eyes. Our souls are no longer separated in body or mind. We are truly one. We can touch the soul of everything. Our way is to shelter, to guide and to love. No Angalarian would use his power to hurt or to destroy. But we could. Every light creates shadows as well. We can heal the damaged soul, when we touch it with love like it is in our nature. But when the light of love is replaced by the hate of darkness, the same process can destroy a soul. I didn't lie when I said no Angalarian would willingly hurt another being. Still your Captain has been deeply violated by an Angalarian."

Namara closed her eyes and again silent tears cursed down her white cheeks.

"We know him. His name was Maran." Her voice cracked, she couldn't speak anymore, so Araman finished for her.

"He was our son."

Chakotay could clearly see the deep pain in the eyes of the other man that reflected the inner fight for composure openly now. Araman had never let go of the hands of his mate. They held each other tightly. The connection of their spirits was the only source of strength to cope with the truth of their son's fate.

Araman was searching for words. Words he had never wanted to say. After all these years they had now to face the undoubted certainty of what had become of the son they had lost in the jail of Samara Prime 23 years ago.

Haunted by the knowledge that it had not been in their power to save their only child, they had feared this moment. The final revelation of Maran's fate. In the light of the circumstances, Namara's former words that an Angalarian would rather send his child to death instead of into the hands of an enemy, took on a completely new meaning. She had been talking from experience. How horrible this must have been, Chakotay could only begin to understand when Araman spoke again.

"We told you about the accident and our losses. We suffered greatly from them, Commander. More than words could ever tell and only the deep bond between our people healed the wounds, the broken spirits. Usually we don't speak about this time. Even after all these years, our souls still hurt like it was only yesterday. We lost not only six close friends; we lost the only child that was involved. Our child. Maran was with Namara and me on this fateful day. It was his first mission in space. He was separated from us as soon as we were caught by the Samarian. We knew he would lose his natural protection in ten days out there. Still we hoped these strangers would not hurt him. Two weeks into our detention, a Samarian appeared with our son at his hand. Maran didn't know us anymore. I will never forget the dead look in his eyes. Whatever they had done to him, they had found a way to feed from his powers. He was still alive in a physical sense, but his body was only a tool of evil will now. His soul was gone, his golden light forever replaced by darkness. That was crueller than death. When the Welora came to our rescue, we couldn't locate Maran's life-signs. He was no longer on Samara Prime. We never saw him again."

Araman paused, his eyes closed and when they opened again, they were brimming with unshed tears. "Our child's soul was assimilated, but in our hearts the connection with Maran never broke completely. We lost the bond with him, but it was never severed. We couldn't feel him anymore, but we always knew he was still alive, a ghost under the living, that would seek eternally for something he couldn't even remember anymore. Starving from an unquenchable hunger he would use his powers to fill his needs to stay alive. There was only one way for him to do that; he would have to meld with other souls to steal their powers. We will never know how many fell victim to him. We only know the Captain was his last. While we bonded with her for the healing ceremony, our spirits connected anew with Maran's. After all these years, we saw and felt him again. A grown man, soulless and hollow. But the darkness around him was slowly fading and the shadow was transforming to a diffuse light. We saw again the child we had lost. He was smiling at us, before his form returned to the light where it had come from. We know now Maran is dead. He has finally found his peace."

Araman hugged Namara tightly again, seeking her eyes with open concern. She nodded, silently telling him she would be okay for now and finally turned out of his embrace. She came to stand beside Chakotay and took the joined hands of Voyager's command team in hers.

"We could heal the wounds Kathryn suffered from Maran. But he was not the only one who melded with her. Someone else has tried to access her emotional memory core, and in the process he caused an even deeper hurt. The violation was almost complete and left her soul almost defenceless."

Chakotay could feel the heat radiating from Namara's hands and his own, but Kathryn's was still much too cold.

Namara looked him deeply in the eye, when she spoke again. "Old souls never face an easy life, Chakotay. You know that, don't you?"

At first the flood of memories caught him by surprise. Images from his past raced through Chakotay's mind. The death of his family, the Cardassian prisons, the war. So many painful moments, but the inner peace he had found in the last years sheltered him from the destroying powers that these memories had once had over him.

"Only the strong are chosen to face the darkness, because it is the way to the light. But even the strong are vulnerable. And when they get hurt, they suffer in an even deeper sense." Namara's eyes wandered from Chakotay's to Kathryn's. "She is one of the strongest I have ever met. For a long time she has suffered silently and without complaint for the greater good. But endurance has limits and Kathryn came much too close to hers. Others would have been broken long before, but she knows the light Chakotay, and that kept her fighting until she was forced to believe it would be lost to her forever. Only with you will she find it again. You both share the bond, and although you never acknowledged it openly, you both thrive on the power that comes from your love. She will need it more than ever now or she will never heal completely from this ordeal." With these words and a final knowing glance at Chakotay, Namara let go of their hands, turned and left sickbay with Araman.

Chakotay couldn't let go of Kathryn's hand. He didn't know why, but he needed to feel her close. The lights were dimmed and sickbay was deserted now. The Doctor had finished his work hours ago. All physical wounds were healed and there were no more cuts and bruises visible. Her body was restored to function normally again.

The dermal regenerator had repaired the last of her injuries, but the shadows under her eyes stayed. When he looked into her sleeping face, seeing the fine lines around her eyes and lips that stress and too much pain had left, all he could think about was: Could Kathryn live with what had happened to her? Or would she retreat to merely function as the captain?

She was his best friend. He had loved her for years and sometimes he knew her better than she knew herself. Kathryn Janeway never discussed her private life.

Namara was right. She was strong. But her strength of character had its roots in great vulnerability and sensibility. If Kathryn cracked under the pressure of her experiences, she would fall deeply.

Chakotay never doubted her ability to stand up again, but he had seen her at the abyss before. Was she capable of jumping? He was afraid of having to find out the answer to that question.

"Commander?" The Doctors voice startled him. He had been completely oblivious to his surroundings with all his senses concentrated on the woman who rested on the biobed beside him. "The captain won't be awake for another 12 hours. I have to keep her sedated. Her life threatening injuries are taken care of, but her body will need time to recover. I have finished my medical report for you."

Reluctantly Chakotay placed Kathryn's hand back on her chest, removing his own very slowly and tenderly. He had to take care of Voyager and its crew as long as the captain was incapacitated. She would expect nothing less of him. So he took the padd from the Doctor and left sickbay with the order to be informed about any change in the captain's condition. He would be back, as soon as she showed any signs of regaining consciousness.


	7. Chapter 7: Friends and more than that

**The Secret of Angalaria**

by Gine

**Chapter 7: Friends and more than that**

Despite all the horrible things the Angalarian children had gone through while their ship was under attack, having to face the violence and destruction they had never known, they had regained a part of their balance and happiness in the care of Voyager's crew faster than Chakotay and everyone else had expected.

When they had come aboard the ship, there was such terror and fear written in the eyes of the children that it broke the hearts of the crew to see their distress. Without thinking, arms opened and the children were enclosed in warm, soothing hugs. The shared touches were the beginning of the healing process and four days after Talaris's destruction, the most beautiful sound filled Voyager's messhall: children's laughter.

For a moment Chakotay stopped at the door, looking over the crowed place, and despite the concern for his captain, he had to smile at the picture before him. The usually sterile room was stuffed with flowers and hundreds of toys. It seemed the rumour about Tom releasing the contents of all the betting pools had been correct. He never knew how much of their rations the crew had actually placed in Tom's capable hands and sometimes devilish mind, but this must have been worth a week of every member's share. Witnessing the smiling faces and the aura of happiness that filled the messhall now, it was a small price to pay.

Neelix sat in the middle of everything with Brana and Nalea on each of his knees, obviously telling adventure stories about his life on Voyager. The children hung on every word that came from his lips and Chakotay saw the twinkle in Neelix' eyes. He had never forgotten what it meant to be a child in his heart, thought Chakotay. This was one of the things he liked most about Voyager's morale officer.

Namara and Araman had joined the children earlier and while secretly watching them now, Chakotay knew they would eventually find closure and peace in the children's love again. He left the messhall quietly, not wanting to disturb the relaxed atmosphere and made his way to Sam Wildman's quarters.

At his request for entry, Sam opened the door and led him to a chair in the living room. Naomi was nowhere to be seen.

Before he could say anything, a cup of cinnamon tea was placed on the small table in front of him, and Sam had taken a seat opposite him.

"Naomi is sleeping, Commander. The Doctor gave her a light sedative earlier." Although she appeared calm and collected now, the serious expression in her tired eyes never belied Sam's true feelings. The events of the last days had left visible traces on her face. Lack of sleep and the deep concern and fear that only a mother knows when her child is in danger, clouded the gentle features. But when she spoke there were no blame, no resentment, toward the responsible commanding officers. Her words held only worry and compassion.

"We all know the dangers of our journey. And as hard as it is to face it, I can't let the fear control our lives. From the day Naomi was born, I knew that I would have to learn to accept the reality of this existence, the possibility of constant danger and violence. Naomi knows nothing else but living on Voyager. And she is happy here. She sees the world around her with different eyes than we do. Innocent eyes. As much as we want to, we can't keep her safe from everything. Even if it breaks my heart to see that innocence sometimes replaced by sadness and pain, I know it is crucial for her growing and her survival out here, that she lives her life as normally as possible and not closed away in a silver box."

"Naomi is a tough girl, Sam. And you're right, she will mature from it, not always coming through unscathed but stronger. You can be so proud of her." Chakotay smiled. "We all are."

"I know and it means so much to me and even more to Naomi. You know, …" Sam paused, appearing unsure about her next words but Chakotay encouraged her to speak freely.

"Naomi adores the captain and she is very upset about what happened while they were hostages. Obviously the captain volunteered to save the children and B'Elanna from that evil man. Naomi didn't talk much about it; the sedative worked pretty quickly. However, I'm sure when she wakes up, she'll need to talk and she'll ask me about the captain."

Chakotay knew there was only one answer Sam needed now, and that was not voicing his own concerns about Kathryn. This was not the place; he would talk to Belanna later. "The captain will be fine. Tell Naomi not to worry." He stood up and reached for her hand, squeezing it gently. "And the same counts for you, Sam. We will make sure our captain and her assistant are on duty again soon." Thanking her for the tea, Chakotay left to check the bridge, before he went to pay a visit on Tom and B'Elanna.

Tom looked like hell and was obviously relieved to see him. The tension in the Paris's quarters was palpable and clearly written in both faces, B'Elanna and Tom's.

Before Chakotay had a chance to say anything, B'Elanna stood nose to nose with him, finally having found the right person to release her anger and frustration.

"Damn it, Chakotay, why do I have to play the delicate china doll here? Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I'm an invalid. It's not enough that I have Tom mothering me for weeks, now you and the Doc conspire with him. Engineering is mine. I need to do something useful. Anything. I've been sitting and doing nothing for long enough. The baby is fine. I'm fine." B'Elanna was already pounding his broad chest with clenched fists.

"I can't rest. When I close my eyes, all I see is her. Facing Salox and going down from the blow right into her abdomen. I see Brana, gently wiping away the blood from her lips. I cover my ears but her words haunt me. Begging me not to interfere. Knowing she would make the sacrifice. Telling me how proud she is of what I've achieved. But how did I thank her, Chakotay? How?"

Tears ran down B'Elanna's face now. While she still pounded on Chakotay's chest, her blows slowly lost power. "They hurt her so badly, and still she refused to trade places. When they brought her back the second time, she was unresponsive. For a horrible moment I thought we had lost her. Then the fever started and with it the hallucinations. She was begging for forgiveness from her mum and me. Me! But there was nothing to forgive. Then she said she 'is alone' and something about you 'are angry' and 'her peace'. The fever climbed so fast. If it hadn't been for Nalea and Brana, your rescue would have been too late. When they came for her again, she could barely walk on her own. Naomi volunteered to be taken instead of her."

B'Elanna turned to Tom, her hands tightly clenched in Chakotay's jacket. "Can you imagine how that made me feel?"

Neither man answered her and that made B'Elanna even angrier. "She is the captain, God damn, but this p'thak violated everything that is Kathryn Janeway."

The pounding stopped and the last words were only whispered, when B'Elanna saw the tears openly fall from Chakotay's eyes. "I saw it in her eyes, if only for a second. She was so exposed, vulnerable beyond word. Those eyes… How can I look into her eyes again…?"

The anger died with her voice and exhaustion settled in. All the time Chakotay had not spoken a word. Now he just opened his arms and pulled his shaking friend against his chest, while his eyes rested on Tom.

"You did what she expected from you, B'Elanna. The way you handled the situation is the reason she said those words to you. You were there taking care of the children and your part in her final rescue was vital. If you hadn't found her then…"

Chakotay couldn't say the rest. His own strength had limits and Tom came to his aid, easing B'Elanna out of his arms, guiding her to the couch under the viewport. They sat in silence for a few minutes. Tom held his wife in his embrace, waiting for her to calm down, while Chakotay stared out into the darkness of space. Finally B'Elanna moved out of Tom's arms. He could read her so easily and nodded at the questioning expression in her eyes. She went to stand beside her old friend and reached for Chakotay's hand.

"How is she?"

Chakotay looked at her a long time and B'Elanna could read every emotion in his expressive features: sadness, fear and concern. In all the years he had never voiced the deep feelings he held for his captain, but B'Elanna knew the truth.

"She's still unconscious. Her physical injuries have been taken care of. They will heal. I pray she will too." Chakotay paused, shook his head slightly and brushed the tears from his cheeks, embarrassed about his own open emotional reaction at B'Elanna's words. She sensed his discomfort immediately and now she was the one enclosing her friend in a compassionate hug.

"She's strong, Chakotay."

"What if that's not enough? We all have limits. Even Kathryn Janeway."

B'Elanna leaned back and urged him to look her in the eye. "When our own strength is failing, we have friends, Chakotay. You are more than her First Officer. And you know we're here for you both as well.

"Yes, I know." Chakotay nodded at Tom and B'Elanna, before he turned to leave them.

"Thank you, my friends."

His quarters were dark and he left it that way. Just like Kathryn had faced the black, almost starless void, now Chakotay stood at the viewport. The darkness he saw there mirrored his feelings, a violent mix of anger and terrible pain that seemed to eat at him from the inside. The padd with the doctor's report that he had read earlier shook in his hand.

For years he had put the demons of the angry warrior to rest. Now the inspiration, the spring of this peace lay in sickbay, violated beyond imagination by a man that resembled a Cardassian when it came to his methods of torturing prisoners. A man who had lost every sense of compassion, even for a child. A man easy to hate.

Again he was overwhelmed by the memories of what he had seen in sickbay. How short was the bridge between dark and light, love and hate. He had crossed it too many times in his life. Freedom and peace came with a high price, but he had learned his lessons. Hate or revenge would not help Kathryn. Only through the love he would heal with her.

Chakotay was bone tired and finally gave in and went to bed. For a long time he lay awake, the pillow tightly pressed against his chest. Whenever he closed his eyes, he again saw Kathryn's slumping form and his dreams became nightmares.

His commbadge chimed and he felt like he hadn't slept at all. But when he heard the Doctor's voice, he was wide-awake and only minutes later on his way to sickbay.

Kathryn's face was still unnaturally pale, but her features appeared to him more relaxed than hours before. Unconsciously he taken her hand again and now his thumb stroked tenderly over her soft skin while he waited.

The Doctor had informed him that it would be the best to let Kathryn's body decide when she would wake up. He had monitored her condition throughout the night and had called for him when the readings indicated that she was about to regain consciousness.

Her bio-signature got stronger now and her heart-rate quickened. Her eyelids started to move, very slowly at first. Finally her eyes opened and met his.

"Chakotay."

He almost gasped at the transformation of raw emotion that he witnessed there in the following seconds. The insecurity in her eyes, the silent question of why she was in sickbay only lasted a moment then died in the crash of her memories. Her hand returned the strong grip that he had on hers. Her eyes grew wide, the pupils darkening, and he looked right into her soul, seeing it lying shattered and bleeding in a thousand pieces.

Her eyes were a living mirror, fractured under the greatest pain, but in the mosaic of the splinters he saw only himself. The emotional shock was so overwhelming for both of them that they could not break the connection between them even with the greatest willpower. They were caught in the moment of Kathryn's deepest vulnerability. There was no struggle for the right words, no defining of parameters, no legends. Just the naked truth. Beyond the call of duty, beyond their deep friendship, they needed each other.

"Captain!" The Doctor appeared on the other side of the biobed to check his patient over, completely oblivious to the most private moment that had ever happened between Kathryn and Chakotay. He had just said a word, but that one word that dropped between them like a bomb, destroying the silent conversation and with it the fragile equilibrium in Kathryn's eyes. _Captain._

It hurt almost physically. She flinched, barely recognisable only to Chakotay, her eyes closed for a few seconds and then she removed her hand from his.

When she opened her eyes again, she didn't look at him and her head turned to the doctor, who was busy scanning her with a medical tricorder. Obviously satisfied with her condition, he put the device away and returned his attention to his captain. His voice was serious and full of compassion when he spoke again.

"Your body had to endure a most stressing and painful ordeal. I know how hard it is for you to accept this, but it will need time to recuperate from the injuries and the severe shock that your system received in the process. How do you feel?"

Her hands grabbed the sheet that covered her body; they were painfully cramped into fists. Chakotay didn't know where Kathryn found the strength to force the words past her lips, in the familiar tone that never belied her position as head of the ship.

"I'm fine."

24 hours later the captain was released to her quarters with strict orders to rest. So often before the doctor had felt like he was talking to a wall when it came to the captain's health, but not today. All the time in sickbay the captain had been unusually quiet, almost withdrawn. He had tried everything to make her comfortable, talking, singing, even serving her coffee and allowing her to read at least the status report of the ship. Still she remained mostly silent. Not once had she spoken about what had happened to her on the other ship.

He had worried even more when she didn't openly protest his orders to take at least one day off before returning to duty. She had just nodded, not really looking at him, before she shimmered away in the site-to-site transport, only leaving behind the echo of herself:

"I am fine. Thank you, Doctor."

The ship's atmosphere vibrated under the happy energy of the children, but they would need to contact the Angalarian home-world soon, before the Samarian ship picked up Voyager's trail to try and find the polara.

Plans for leaving were already made, but not without a last big party for their small guests. Inspired by the creativity of 77 children, Neelix had his hands and mind full to prepare everything in the short time that was left until they would have to say their final goodbyes.

One more night and Voyager would be on its way to Earth again.

The soft scent of flowers filled the air of the messhall, the only leftover from the childrens' party. At this time of night the place was usually deserted. Following old habits to find some peace, Kathryn grabbed the coffee that Neelix had left for her like he did every night and made her way to her favourite chair.

Voyager was quiet. She leaned her head back against the soft cushions and listened to the gentle sounds of her ship. The humming of the engines had comforted her many times; now she was more desperate to regain some control of her swirling mind and to sooth her mutilated emotions than ever before.

But all she could think of was him. His face, the concern in his eyes, the touch of his hand. This had nothing to do with their professional relationship. This concerned feelings that grew deeper. Unconsciously or not, they had reached the point of living a personal relationship years before. Had they been blind to it?

No, certainly not. They had kept to protocol. They didn't share quarters; they didn't share the same bed. They had never kissed. But they shared everything else. Dinners, talks, dances, hugs, flowers, moonlight sails, thoughts and touches. They were closer with each other than they were with anybody else. She loved him. And now she needed his love. All of it. The melds with Maran and Salox had ripped her soul open, painfully tearing apart what had made her whole and strong. When she had been on the edge of loosing her sanity, she had held on to his promise and finally reached out to Chakotay. She could not face this alone.

Despite the late hour, she reached for her commbadge, knowing she could talk to him any time, when the door behind her swished open and closed again. She turned around slowly, but saw nobody in the darkness. Not wanting to alert whoever had come for a midnight snack of her presence, she just stayed quiet, waiting for the crewman to leave again. She heard the clinking sound of cups and pots being moved. Something fell to the floor and then a voice that Kathryn knew all too well swore.

"Ouch, that was my foot, Nalea. Give me your cup and I'll make you some chocolate." Naomi was just about to hand her back the filled pot when the room was filled with a soft light and the captain looked over the kitchen's bar.

"Captain?" The cup fell from Naomi's shaking hand, spilling the dark liquid all over the floor.

Kathryn had never wanted to frighten the children, but they were obviously shocked by her sudden appearance. She spoke softly to the children, picking up the cup from the floor and washing away the cocoa. She then guided them to sit with her on the broad couch under the viewport, knowing that it was no coincidence to find them here in the middle of the night. The expressions on the small faces spoke volumes. Naomi especially was clearly suffering from the aftermath of their ordeal, while Nalea and Brana took care of their new friend. The contact with Namara and Araman had started their emotional healing, but Naomi needed someone else to talk to.

"Why?" Naomi looked at the captain expectantly. "Why did they hurt you, Captain? And will they come for Nalea and Brana again?" Pleading innocence drowned in the sea of sadness in the childrens' eyes. To see their pain hurt Kathryn more than Salox's whip had. Why? This was one answer that she couldn't give. Nobody could.

So she began to talk, smiling. Something, everything. She talked about Voyager, about the universe, about stories and the sea. About the sun, the moon and the stars. And about Earth, the home they hoped to reach someday again. She reassured Nalea, Naomi and Brana with warm hugs and love, providing the feeling of safety that Naomi needed so badly to receive from her. Underneath her uniform, her own wounds still bled invisibly, but she didn't flinch, nor did she say a word and the children laughed for her.

Half an hour later they returned to their quarters to finally sleep, the little hearts lighter and the stomachs warmed with hot chocolate and cream that the captain had served them at last.

The next day was both happy and sad. The captain had resumed her command with the alpha-shift. The crew had stood to attention when the turbolift had opened and she had entered the bridge. When she had passed Tuvok's station, he had briefly taken her hand, expressing his silent concern for her and she had nodded at him.

Before she took her place in the centre of the bridge, she went to stand beside Tom, resting her hand on his shoulder like she had done many times before.

"Thank you for taking care of B'Elanna. I know how hard it was for her." She looked deeply into his eyes and added. "I know it was hard for you as well."

Taking her seat she reached out her hand to her left. Chakotay returned her strong grip. The silent communication between them said more than words could right now. They needed to talk when they were alone later.

Looking in the eyes of his captain, Chakotay marvelled at the unbelievable strength that he saw there. Something had changed. She had regained an important part of her inner balance; still he could see all her emotions openly displayed. No words, no parameters, no legends, just love. Kathryn Janeway would never cease to amaze him.

In the afternoon they contacted Angalaria and finally the moment of saying good-bye had come. Nalea, Brana, Namara and Araman were the last to beam from the ship. They stood hand in hand on the transporter, a golden aura surrounding them. All eyes rested on the captain when Namara spoke for the last time.

"The people of Angalaria will never forget what you have done for us. Not only helping us to return to our home-world, you saved our children from a fate harder than death and you never revealed your knowledge of the polara. You were prepared to pay the highest price, not only with your life, but with your soul as well."

Before they dematerialised in shimmering blue, Namara looked at the joined hands of Voyager's command team and the most beautiful smile graced her features.

"It warms my heart to see that you found the courage to accept the strength of your bond. It was always there."

Fin

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